My resume.
I was once in a city hall. Im a US citizen. I was born in America. At least my parents claim that is so. I do have a birth certificate from a hospital in America. But it could be fake. But Im trusting they didnt lie to me.
I have never had any kids out of wedlock. Well maybe I did and the girl just didn’t tell me.
I have never had an abortion but them Im a man. Does that count?
I have always paid my taxes. Well not always. I once forgot to claim a gift I got. It wasnt much. Just a new home in……….I fergit what country it was in. I’m not sure if Im supposed to pay taxes on that secret off shore bank account or not.
My wife was from a very poor family. They only were worth about 50 million when we married.
I am very patriotic. I dont wear a lapel pin. I was in the military but only served 3 years and was never taken prisioner. I never fled the battlefield. At least thats what I claim and anyone who might say otherwise is prolly dead already since Im so fricken old that there is no way they coulda lived this long.
I own a gun. Its required that my Vice President own a gun and know how to shoot people…..er shoot stuff.
I have 5 kids and I am pretty sure that I have never learned how to “pull out” of anything in my life. I have the audacity to believe that If you try hard enough, long enough you will win.
I played Basketball. I hear its a requirement for public office now.
I was at a rodeo a while back and I noticed that most of the people did not remove their hats nor put their hands over their heart when the Star Spangled Banner was played. I was saddened.
I have spent much time in Holiday Inn Expresses.
I have managed to anger almost everyone who leans left which would make me a good righty for president. This makes me the perfect candidate to Unite America. At least half of it.
I balance my checkbook every month. I do not spend more then I make but then I make millions from book deals so its impossible to spend more then I make.
I understand the common man. I have my chaufer drive me down to the projects and I walk the streets for a couple blocks then go back to me rich neighborhood and hang with my new homie friends.
I promise only one thing. I will squander the national treasury and will walk away from the White House with more strife and contention that is conceivably possible while I pad my offshore bank account with millions, maybe even billions from special interests as I whore myself out to anyone who wants something done.
After 4 years in office I DO SOLEMNLY SWEAR to Balance MY budget…..er I mean the national budget.
Im John Joeseph Barak McBama and I approve this message. Incidently from now on you can call me Sarah.(Betty)
My resume.
I was once in a city hall. Im a US citizen. I was born in America. At least my parents claim that is so. I do have a birth certificate from a hospital in America. But it could be fake. But Im trusting they didnt lie to me.
I have never had any kids out of wedlock. Well maybe I did and the girl just didn’t tell me.
I have never had an abortion but them Im a man. Does that count?
I have always paid my taxes. Well not always. I once forgot to claim a gift I got. It wasnt much. Just a new home in……….I fergit what country it was in. I’m not sure if Im supposed to pay taxes on that secret off shore bank account or not.
My wife was from a very poor family. They only were worth about 50 million when we married.
I am very patriotic. I dont wear a lapel pin. I was in the military but only served 3 years and was never taken prisioner. I never fled the battlefield. At least thats what I claim and anyone who might say otherwise is prolly dead already since Im so fricken old that there is no way they coulda lived this long.
I own a gun. Its required that my Vice President own a gun and know how to shoot people…..er shoot stuff.
I have 5 kids and I am pretty sure that I have never learned how to “pull out” of anything in my life. I have the audacity to believe that If you try hard enough, long enough you will win.
I played Basketball. I hear its a requirement for public office now.
I was at a rodeo a while back and I noticed that most of the people did not remove their hats nor put their hands over their heart when the Star Spangled Banner was played. I was saddened.
I have spent much time in Holiday Inn Expresses.
I have managed to anger almost everyone who leans left which would make me a good righty for president. This makes me the perfect candidate to Unite America. At least half of it.
I balance my checkbook every month. I do not spend more then I make but then I make millions from book deals so its impossible to spend more then I make.
I understand the common man. I have my chaufer drive me down to the projects and I walk the streets for a couple blocks then go back to me rich neighborhood and hang with my new homie friends.
I promise only one thing. I will squander the national treasury and will walk away from the White House with more strife and contention that is conceivably possible while I pad my offshore bank account with millions, maybe even billions from special interests as I whore myself out to anyone who wants something done.
After 4 years in office I DO SOLEMNLY SWEAR to Balance MY budget…..er I mean the national budget.
Im John Joeseph Barak McBama and I approve this message. Incidently from now on you can call me Sarah.(Betty)